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October 30, 2011
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Fallen Angel - Frame one by SolarLunix Fallen Angel - Frame one by SolarLunix
First frame... done... hours... it took HOURS >.< this is going to be one long manga... *cry*

especially since this is the only place it saved because my computer crashed with the .psd file not saved right....
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:iconhardrockangel:
Please pay no attention to the star-rating, the critique is what matters. The stars are only rated to allow submission.

First of all, I think the slant and the shape of the frame makes it look interesting, as opposed to the regular square frame.

However, the lines could use some work to make them neater. At the moment they look a bit sketchy and choppy, so my only suggestion would be to go over them again so they are smooth. Especially since this isn't a coloured piece, all the attention goes to the line-art which should be perfect then.

All in all, though: nice work. :)
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:iconandreasrullmann-st:
AndreasRullmann-St Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2011
Grrr, no I've closed the wrong folder and lost this comment - next attempt ...

As you've already written a journal entry in matters of saving data, which I've commented yesterday, here I just wanna leave some lines to the drawing and your efforts.

In comparism to your linked first attempt with pencil, the lines are clearer here. The girl gives me the impression of a silent and thoughtful sadness with small mouth, thin lips, the eyes turned downward. It's fascinating, how some fitting lines at the right place of a face can transport an emotional state. So if this impression was your purpose, it works transcontinentally, so to say, and you should see it as success. And believe me, you draw better than you perhaps think. If I'd try to draw a human face, I must be glad about someone recognizing it as human being at all ...

Yes, as some others commented, speed will come with practice. In German there's the proverb "Aller Anfang ist schwer" (approximately "Every beginning is difficult.") and so you need to invest a lot of work into using a new technique to reach first satisfying success. If you say, it took you hours, that's already good, I think. When I had to draw or paint, some of the little number of pictures took me weeks, sometimes I made umpteen tries, until one was good enough. You remember the four little landscape paintings I sent you via Skype? I worked about two months on it, threw away half a forest of papers. It's not a shame, to work hard for success - only who doesn't give up, improves his chances to it.

As here's the newer series of comments, let me comment also your first pencil attempt from August. It was good, to explain, that one has to read from left to right, I have almost no clue of mangas and didn't eben know that. It's the same with the annotation about thoughts in circles.

And I like your handwriting, it's more personal, looks more like manual art than printed letters, and it's simple to read, absolutely no problem. It's the first time, I saw it, I think. You know mine from snail mail : )

Just don't give up, you abilities and with that your speed will improve for sure. Another poverb, this time Latin from late stoic philosopher Seneca (which I wrote in school time a work about, which compared some letters of him with the Pauline epistles): "Non est ad astra mollis e terris via.", what means in a metaphorical sense, that there's no comfortable way from earth to the stars. There also exists a short form "Per aspera ad astra!", what means "Through bitter ways to the stars!". So don't be too worried, your way is okay to reach higher aims.

Hey, and you see, to how many ideas you can inspire - that's also good, though I, just like you, as I know, tend to endless seriesses of thoughts. : )
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:iconxezo15:
Xezo15 Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Hours? Holy moley. <_> Well just pace yourself and don't get overworked, this looks good so far. :3
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:iconsolarlunix:
SolarLunix Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2011   Traditional Artist
Yeah, I'll do my best, I just.. this took so long because I'm trying to get the style just right and I'm just not used to the tablet yet because I haven't done it enough... I'm still working on it though :3
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:iconseaworm:
Seaworm Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2011  Student Digital Artist
The more you draw, the faster you'll get :D

This is looking good; is this the very beginning of the manga?
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:iconsolarlunix:
SolarLunix Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2011   Traditional Artist
Yes, yes it is.
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:iconseaworm:
Seaworm Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2011  Student Digital Artist
Then I wish you god's speed for finishing it, and improving while doing so.
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:iconsolarlunix:
SolarLunix Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2011   Traditional Artist
Thanks :3 I finally like her design though...
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:iconrawk-lord-1:
Rawk-Lord-1 Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2011
I don't know what you're going to make with this, but I do know that I like it. :)
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:iconsolarlunix:
SolarLunix Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2011   Traditional Artist
[link] changed the name and look a little... but really it comes off of a dream that I had before
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:icontoxyn16:
toxyn16 Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Looks Great! Keep it up hun! It's gonna be so worth reading.
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